5 Tips to Prevent Parental Burnout in the New Year

Hello and thank you for visiting my website! I'm Dr. Cidre and I'm a Harvard and Stanford-trained adult psychiatrist and mother. In this blog I share actionable and science-backed mental health tips and strategies to help you find a path toward balance, wellness and vitality. If you'd like to speak with me, I have a few open spots for patients residing in either New York or California. For NY patients: Click here to schedule a free 15 minute phone consult. For CA patients: Click here to schedule a free phone consult

Happy 2024! The new year always presents us with the opportunity to reflect back on how things went and plan ahead.  This can be hard to do for us parents because, where do you find the time?! Good news, I’m here to help. I’m a reproductive psychiatrist and mother and I love working creatively with parents to find ways to both connect with their children and reconnect with themselves and their partners. So, if you are a parent and find yourself feeling exhausted and maybe even disconnected, I’m here to tell you that you are not alone and that it might be time to prioritize your health! 

Here are my top burnout preventing tips for the ever-giving perfectionist and exhausted parent: 

Give yourself grace/ show yourself some love:

Being a parent is hard work and you are trying your best. You are not perfect and you will make mistakes. And that is ok. One of my favorite things about being a human is that life presents us with innumerable daily opportunities to do things differently. You just yelled “why are you so annoying?!!” at your toddler after he had a meltdown because the peanut butter and jelly sandwich was cut in squares and not triangles? Give yourself grace! This is hard. What’s interesting is that sometimes showing yourself some love, empathy, and acceptance is what you need in order to pave the road towards change (vs staying stuck in the blame and shame spiral).

Blame the system

Most parents in the US don’t have the support that they need in order to take care of their children. This is a crisis in the US and it is not your fault.  It is a systems issue and the US can do better. What’s tricky about the human mind is that sometimes what’s easiest for us to do when there are things that are challenging and out of our control is to blame ourselves (this is especially true for women and minorities).  When you find yourself in the blame game try to zoom out and see whether there are systems issues that can decrease the load on you. This will not fix the situation, but it might alleviate the extra suffering that you are adding to an already impossibly difficult situation.

Build or harness your support system

Parenthood can be a lonely affair, especially for those who are new to a city, live far away from family or live in areas with limited communal areas like parks and playgrounds. Because caregiving is a 24/7 job and you are exhausted, it might seem impossibly hard to build a support system while at the same time taking care of a child. However, guess what?  There’s lots of parents in your situation and plenty of people in need of a friend and support. So try and set small achievable goals for reaching out to your supports or creating new ones. This can be as simple as texting one friend/week. Or making the goal of going to a parent meetup once a month. This is hard work but it will pay off and will make the parenting experience a lot less lonely.  

Let others be the hero

This one might be for you if you find yourself doing close to everything, yet you are co-parenting or have access to help from a partner, family, or friends. Parenthood presents itself with plenty of opportunities to show our superhero strengths. Baby wakes up at 330 am for 6 months in a row? No worries, mommy’s got this. Toddler has a fever in daycare? No worries, Abba will cancel all of their meetings and pick them up. These hero moments add up and can lead to exhaustion and resentment when not shared. Many people find themselves in a position in which they do not have someone to turn to for help. Yet for others (I’m including myself here), it might be hard to ask for and accept help. For the latter group, I highly recommend letting others be the hero while you take a well-deserved nap.

Make time for yourself

Above all, please don’t forget about yourself!  It is mind blowing what a 5 minute walk on your own can do for one’s sanity in moments of caregiver burnout. Try and remember the things you liked before baby and be creative on how you can incorporate these into your life. Sure, you might not be able to take a 3 day backpacking trip or go clubbing in Vegas. But perhaps taking a short walk or dressing up and going out for a drink or lunch can help you connect and integrate the person you were with the person who you are becoming as a parent.  

I hope these tips help you kickstart 2024 on the right note. Sometimes, all we need to do to safeguard our mental health is to prioritize ourselves and incorporate some healthy habits. However, don't forget to reach out for help if the challenges life presents feel overwhelming at the moment.

About the Author:

Dr. Cidre is a reproductive psychiatrist and mother based in NYC. She provides both medication management and psychotherapy services for patients located in NY and CA.

For NY patients: Click here to schedule a free 15 minute phone consult

For CA patients: Click here to schedule a free phone consult

Disclaimer: The information provided on this website and blog is for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice or professional services. No physician-patient relationship is created by this website/blog or its use. No content on this site should ever be used to as a substitute for direct medical advice from your doctor or qualified clinician. If you think you may have a medical or psychiatric emergency please call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.